Drunk Jokes ( 28 )


  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 300   |  

    An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." A few minutes later, the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time, you're too drunk" Five minutes later the guy comes in though the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk" The drunk scratches his head and says "Dang, I must be. The last two places said the same thing."

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 401   |  

    Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 167   |  

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied. "How does it work?" "Watch", the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For fuck sake, you wanker, it's 2am in the fucking morning!!"

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 276   |  

    Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 153   |  

    There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 179   |  

    शराबी प्रेमसुख सड़क पर पड़ा हुआ था। पुलिस वाले ने आकर पूछा - 'इतनी क्यूं पी रखी है?' प्रेमसुख शराबी - 'क्या करूं, मजबूरी थी !' पुलिस वाला - 'कैसी मजबूरी ?' प्रेमसुख बोला - 'बोतल का ढक्कन गुम हो गया था !'

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 432   |  

    Kya Doodh Peene Se Taaqat Aati Hai? 5 Glass Doodh Piyo Phir Deewar Hilane Ki Koshish Karo, Nahi Hilegi.. 5 Can Beer Piyo Or Deewar Ki Taraf Dekho… Deewar Saali Apne Aap Hilne Lagegi..

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 428   |  

    Inaam Ke Hakdaar Wo Log Bhi Hain Jo Daaru Peene Ke Baad Puchte Hain… . . . Yaar Dekhiyo Zara Muh Se Badbu To Nahi Aa Rahi Hai..

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 183   |  

    संता की टाँग टूट गयी , बंता – ओ पाजी , टाँग कैसे टूटी ? संता – क्या बताऊँ यार कल दारू थोड़ी कम पी थी ना , बंता – अरे दारू काम पीने से टाँग कैसे टूट सकती है ? संता – अरे पाजी , जब ज्यादा पीता हूँ , तो उधर ठेके पे ही लुढ़क जाता हूँ , कल कम पी थी , फिर घर आने को हुआ तो , रास्ते में नाले में लुढक गया

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 153   |  

    santa ko buree tarah dast lag gae santa – kya karoon aisee taisee ho gayee hai beevee – aajavain le lo na aaj santa – theek hai too kahatee hai to le leta hoon raat ko santa daaroo pee ke aaya beevee – kamabakht ye kya haal bana liya santa – . . . . too mujhe barabaad karake rahegee, subah to khud bol rahee thee ki – “aaj wain le lo”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 136   |  

    संता बीवी से परेशान होके डॉक्टर के पास गया संता – डॉक्टर साहब मैं बहुत दुःखी हूँ डॉक्टर बंता – क्या हुआ मुझे बताओ संता – मेरी बीवी रोज होटल में जाती है खूब शराब पीती है और नए लड़कों के साथ ऐश करती है डॉक्टर बंता – घबराओ मत मुझे बताओ कौन से होटल जाती है संता बेहोश

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 142   |  

    संता बीवी से परेशान होके डॉक्टर के पास गया संता – डॉक्टर साहब मैं बहुत दुःखी हूँ डॉक्टर बंता – क्या हुआ मुझे बताओ संता – मेरी बीवी रोज होटल में जाती है खूब शराब पीती है और नए लड़कों के साथ ऐश करती है

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 154   |  

    Ek baar ek ladaka daaroo pi ke ghar lauta ,, phir paapa se bachane ke lie chupachaap laptop khol kar padhane laga ,, paapa – aaj phir pi ke aaya hai ,, beta – nahin ,, paapa – to kamine , sootcase khol ke kya padh raha hai

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 166   |  

    Sharaabi eyes donate karne gaya. Counter clerk: Kuch kehna chaahte ho? Sharaabi: Jise lagaao use bata dena, yeh do peg ke baad khulti hain..

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 450   |  

    1. Tu mera bhai hai! 2. Gaadi main chalaunga! 3. Main teri dil se izzat karta hu! 4. Yaar, i love her! 5. Ye mat samajh ki main pi kar bol raha hu! 6. Ek chota sa peg aur ho jaye! 7. Tu bol bhai kya chahiye, tere liye jaan hazir hai! 8. Kal se daru band!

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 395   |  

    अचानक फिसलकर वह कीचड में गिर गया | उसी वक्त बिजली चमकी तो शराबी बोला- हे भगवान एक तो पहले कीचड में गिरा दिया और अब फोटो भी खींच रहे हो |

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 139   |  

    12 botal pilane ke baad waiter bola: Aapko chadti kyun nahi..? Narad Muni: MAIN BHAGWAN HOO. Waiter: Chad gayi Na!

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 161   |  

    poocha: Aap meri sharab churwa sakte ho..? Karamaati: Haan kyun nahi. Santa: To police ne meri 22 bottlein pakri hain. Churwa do.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 330   |  

    thodi mehngi zaroor hoti hai lekin jab chadti hai to mazaa aa jaata hai..

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 124   |  

    raat ka samaa saaki pila itni ki na ho subha..

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 297   |  

    jab tak samne wale 3 ped (Tree) 6 nahi dikh jate. Bar manager: Bas karo kamino wahan koi ped nahi hai.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 148   |  

    Ek baar ek jinn ek aadmi ke bhesh mein beer peene bar pahunch gaya Usne 12 bottle beer pe daali. Bartender yeh dekha kar bada hairan hua aur usne poochha Arre bhai tere ko chadhti nahi hai kya Is par Jinn bola "Abbe main JINN hoon" Bartender bola: Yeh lo chadh gayi.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 171   |  

    Daaru ki wajah se barbad sharabi ne kasam li aur ghar se daaru ki khaali bottles phenkne laga Pehli bottle phekte huye bola.. Teri wajah se meri naukri gayi Doosri bottle phekte huye bola.. Teri wajah se mera ghar bika Seesri bottle phekte huye bola.. Teri wajah se meri biwi chali gayi Chauthi bottle uthaai to woh bhari huyi nikli to bola Tu side mein hoja pagli... tu to bekasoor hai

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 165   |  

    Drinkers are practical people. Daaru peene se pehle jo glass me ungli dubo kar do boond neeche giraayi jaati hai... ... ... ... usse sharabiyon ke granth me sanskar kaha gaya hai.

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