Fathers Day Jokes ( 13 )


  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 676   |  

    Son: For £20, I’ll be good. Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing. Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping! Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate. Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 631   |  

    Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on Dear Son, I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 650   |  

    Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders. Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 579   |  

    Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 618   |  

    Dad: How do you like fourth grade? Son: It isn’t much fun. Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 563   |  

    Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 505   |  

    Joe: What does your father do for a living? Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 579   |  

    Joe: What does your father do for a living? Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 620   |  

    A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were. “Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…” “Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him. “ …Which bus would I take home?”

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 647   |  

    “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 606   |  

    Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card. Johnny: I don’t have it. Johnny’s father: Why not? Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 600   |  

    Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking? Voice: This is my father

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  • Dec 29, 2014   |   Review 579   |  

    Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? Tom: What? Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

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