Travel Jokes ( 41 )


  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 139   |  

    On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. “I hope this spaceship doesn’t travel faster than sound. “Why?” replies the cabin steward. “Because my friend and I want to talk, that’s why.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 162   |  

    What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel? I m sorry to leave, now that I’ve almost bought the place.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 172   |  

    A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, “Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare’s birthplace?” “Ay, straight on, sir,” said the rustic, “but no need to hurry. He’s dead.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 183   |  

    There was a man staying the night in a hotel. He called the front desk and said, “Excuse me, sir, I’ve got a leak in my sink.” The man at the front desk replied, “Oh, okay, go ahead, but most guests just use the toilet.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 147   |  

    Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children, travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty, muttering: If you re anything to go by, that’s not all it broadens!

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 150   |  

    An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: “How large is the population here?” “Around 1.5 billion” — the guide answers American, After a short pause: “So, what else do you do here?”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 138   |  

    A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. “And What’s so funny?!?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here for the food.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 146   |  

    A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. “How awful !” exclaimed the wife. “Si, but what a great way to spend eternity.” added the husband.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 158   |  

    And will there be anything else, sir? the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. “No thank you,” the gentleman replied. “That will be all.” As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. “Anything for your wife ?” he asked. “Yeah! That’s a good idea,” the fellow said. “Please bring up a postcard.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 169   |  

    A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals. “Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk. “Look here,” inquired the farmer in surprise, “when am I going to get time to see the city?”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 145   |  

    A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?” The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?” The person says, ” Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 167   |  

    Look, guide, here are some LION tracks. “Good. You see where they go and I ll find out where they came from.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 155   |  

    A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. “Is it true,” he asked, “that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” “That depends,” replied the guide, “on how fast you carry the flashlight.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 169   |  

    Windsor castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourist was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude making a tremendous amount of noise. One particularly annoyed tourist whined, “Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 150   |  

    The tourist: “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 170   |  

    The frightened tourist: “Are there any bats in this cave?” The guide: “There were, but don’t worry, the snakes ate all of them.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 163   |  

    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.” Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.” Her response

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 167   |  

    Someone — always a man — always asks, “does the ship run on generators?” The Cruise Director usually tells them, “No, we just have a very long power line running to the mainland.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 173   |  

    There was some mix-up with a woman’s room. The clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was trying to remedy the situation. He asked, “Would you like an inside cabin or an outside cabin?” She replied, “Well, it looks like it might rain today. I d better get an inside cabin.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 163   |  

    During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, “I know I m in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!” “The crackers are complimentary,” the voice to the other end cooly explained. “I believe you are complaining about your room number.”

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 153   |  

    Travel is what you do to get away from your wife. Business Travel is one excuse that you can give your wife to go on vacation with your mistress. Study Travel is when you want to travel and don’t want to study.

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 162   |  

    I will be honest with you. This is actually the best travel story you will find on this page. But if you have anything as good – or even half as good

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 153   |  

    संता: सर, मेरी पत्नी कहीं खो गई है। पोस्टमास्टर: भाई, यह पोस्टऑफिस है। जाकर थाने में रिपोर्ट दर्ज कराओ। सोहन: क्या करूं सर, खुशी के मारे कुछ समझ में नहीं आ रहा है।

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  • Nov 3, 2017   |   Review 189   |  

    संता बिना टिकट ट्रेन का सफर कर रहा था। टीटीआईः प्लीज टिकट दिखाइए। संता:मेरे पास टिकट नहीं है। टीटीआईः तुम जा कहां रहे हो? संता: वहीं, जहां भगवान राम का जन्म हुआ था। टीटीआईः पहले मेरे साथ आओ और देख लो वो जगह जहां भगवान कृष्ण पैदा हुए थे।

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